Skool Assignment
by HeCallsMeHisChild
Summary: Series of short oneshots. Zim has to write a poem? Gee, I wonder what he'd write... update More poem assignments from the cast.
1. Zim

Now pay attention! Yes, that's right, wake up from your desks of drool and fix your filthy eye-sockets on Zim. If I have to do this horribly primitive assignment, then you are going to pay close attention! It is worthy of attention, so worthy, worthy like Zim! If it were not worthy, it would be like Dib. But it is not, so here is my assignment of doom! The first hyuman who opens their filthy voice-box to laugh will have their lips fused shut.

Ahem.

The Earth is a spinning ball of dirt

Its destruction will taste just like dessert

With all the monkeys, germs, and dogs

It will all boil like vats of frogs

The pants command me, "Zim, destroy!"

I'll begin with the delivery boy

Who carries stinking pizza in

And has great zits upon his chin

He should get some acne blast

Then they'll grow even more fast

But I digress, the Earth is doomed

Before your eyes, you'll be consumed

Except the Dib, for he you see

Will be a useful slave to me

He's messed up every plan so far

So I'll dip him in boiling tar

And watch him run through acid rain

To see how HE likes feeling pain

Oh yes, revenge will be so sweet

The day the Dib bows down at my feet

The Tallests' praise will fall on me

I'm just a normal boy, you see.

I can see by your stunned expressions that you are all amazed at the amazing poetry of ZIM. Now applaud. LOUDER!! That's better. Hey! Who threw this… what is this paper ball… AUGH! Who threw this horrible drawing? I see you smirking, foolish Dib-worm, you will rue the day you aimed dead trees at the head of Zim! You dare mock the poem, I will—

Yes Ms. Bitters. Yes. No, I'm sitting now. No need for the chair of nails, I don't need to go to the underground classroom. I'm sitting, nice and quiet. I'm normal. I wear pants and watch TV.

Do I get an A?

...

**Note:** Happy late-late-late-late-late-late-late birthday Invader Sideos! I promised I'd do it, and it only took me forever to get it done!


	2. Dib

Note: Originally intended to be a oneshot, but there were people who wanted to know what Dib's poem would look like

**Note:** Originally intended to be a oneshot, but there were people who wanted to know what Dib's poem would look like. Therefore, I will be doing his, as well as a few other characters' poems.

……………………..

Me! I'll go next. Thank you, Ms. Bitters.

My fellow classmates, although poetry is not inherent in paranormal studies, I've attempted to blend the two to create a truly unique form of expression, in which I will detail all the reasons that Zim is an alien.

(cough)

It's clear to me that no one sees

That Zim is no mere boy

I'm confounded by constant scorn

You can't see through his ploy?

His skin is green, he has no ears

His nose is absent too

What skin disease that does not kill

Would turn him just this hue?

Have you ever thought or asked

What's under that toupee?

That rug, I say, is hiding

Two antennae every day

His tongue and teeth are oddities

You can't ignore by now

He's yelled at us enough to show

All aspects of that chow

He constantly refers to us

As pigs, monkeys, and squirrels

But I forgot, all humans give

Each other this deferral

When will all you morons see

That Zim was never normal?

Along with Bigfoot, ghosts, and Yetis,

He's today's great paranormal!

Clap his wrists in sleepingcuffs

And ship him to the lab

Dissect him so we'll figure out

His plan, with every stab

Beat that, Zim. You can't refute the evidence, you're no normal kid. You're an alien! And someday I'm going to bring you down. You'll live the rest of your life in a tank hooked up to machines if I have anything to say about it. I see the fear in your eyes. Remember, I'll always—

I'm not crazy! Hey, you take that back! And you too! What's wrong with you people? Didn't you listen? Didn't you hear a word I said? He's an alien, AN ALIEN, RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU!!

Yes Ms. Bitters. I'm sitting. No, that's alright, I'm calm. I don't need to go to the Crazy House for Boys. I don't take medication! No, I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry.

What do you mean I fail?!


	3. GIR

HIIIIIIIIII

HIIIIIIIIII! Look at all the little boys an' girls, I bet you like my CHICKEN. Dun' worry, I ated him. We did it wiv tacos. Hi Zim! Zim's my master, he's good at destroyin'. Because I like pigs, I do. Pigs an' th' biiiiiiig-headed boy. Hi big-headed boy! So, so I read Zim's homework, and I got one too.

Giggle.

Cows in th' sky fly wiv cheese

An' mice they say boohoo

Weasels are my favorite snack

When Master makes 'em glow

Splodies made the big head faster

An' Master looks like funny old lady

Or funny old man, we saw an elephant

And sent the bus an' my walnuts to a moose

And when I wanted tacos bad

He yelled and said stop running

I go to squirrely doom

My cupcake ate my turkey

Though it was me all along

I ated up the windowsill an' chased the pizza boy

The pizza loved my tummy

My tummy loved the floor

The end!

Aww, don't frown Master. I know what'll cheer you up. PASTE WAR! Heehee. Oh, what you want, cranky lady? No, I dun' know what that means. Wow, you got big an' dark. Why's big-head scared-lookin'? Master, leggo, I wanna talk to cranky lady more, CRANKY LADEEEEEE!!


	4. Gaz

b

b. Be quiet, Dib. The staff entrance, how else? Mr. Elliot is annoying me, that's why, now shut up. I'm reading this stupid poem. My Gameslave ran out of batteries.

Grunt.

Dib's voice has made me sick

Far too many times

He keeps on talking

It's like squawking

Going on and on!

And Zim is stupid through and through

His idiotic plans are crap

He thinks they'll work

He's such a jerk

He's really just insane

And if the two of them don't get

It through their heads real soon

I'm gonna take

Their heads and break

Them, one against the other

I'll hurl them into deepest doom

And laugh at their demise

I'll make them pay

They'll rue the day

They bothered my game zone

I'll see them scrubbing horror toilets

Gagging in dismay

They'll wish for death

Till their last breath

Such whiners, Dib and Zim.

Thank you, Ms. Bitters. Yes. I know I get an A. I know I deserve it. Yeah, it is kind of funny the way they shake and cry, isn't it?


End file.
